I find it a little ironic that I get these overwhelming desires to change the world and have all these amazing adventures when I’m an introvert who gets anxious about driving in traffic.
It’s a strange feeling, almost like you’re this caged butterfly.
Do you ever feel like that? Like you have this deep yearning to do all these awesome, big things in your life, and yet, you tend to hang out at the back, hide away or play it safe?
You tend to stick to the comfortable stuff…
Because, SO many things…
- The fear of looking silly or making a mistake.
- Not knowing what’s going to happen.
- NEVER ever, ever being prepared enough (hello perfectionism).
Life sure is interesting. But, dammit, regret isn’t. Regret SUCKS.
So I’ve decided something that I thought I’d share. Well, mostly decided… I may need some encouragement to see this one through, because it’s juuuust a little terrifying to be honest! I had this kind of “aha” moment while sitting in a circle of people at a healing centre yesterday, and reading the card I’d been given during the “ice breaker” (yay – and yes, we went around and introduced ourselves. I’m still here, I survived!).
You want to know what my card said?
Out of EVERYTHING (some people got chaos, others karma, others fame and fortune…)
I got: Happy Living.
Well, I took that as a sign! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have an unhappy life – far from it!! There are just some things I’m working through on this wellness journey, and other things I keep thinking about and putting off.
The timing of this little card couldn’t have been better. It’s like it was meant to be or something. I believe in things like that – little “notes” from the universe / God, edging us on, giving us a head’s up, shifting our focus.
So I’m listening and doing it. (Hopefully, omg…)
And I’m writing about it here, because I KNOW I’m going to want to back out of it at some stage. #accountabilityLife is about choices. The choice to stand still and play it safe – or to break comfort zones and LIVE a little more. Click To Tweet
I’m Choosing Adventure in 2019
Next year, as a belated 36th birthday present to myself, I’m taking a trip.
A solo trip.
Ya, I know… I still can’t believe I’m actually writing this. Me, introvert Melanie wanting to travel by herself, haha! Hilarious.
There’s this heart calling though, something I’ve had for a long time and it’s hard to put into words properly to explain it. I’ve always just pushed it aside, because, well, I never thought I’d be that person wanting to go on a solo trip.
But, why ALONE, Mel?
Lots of reasons actually – more than I thought there would be.
For starters, I’ve always been someone who leans on other people, hides behind them, depends on them a little too much than I should. And these are some of the things I’m working on unlearning.
It’s important for me to do more out of my comfort zone things, to put myself out there, to be seen.
To EXPERIENCE more of this amazing life, instead of just playing it safe because I’m scared.
I’m in my head so much with my empath personality, I feel like I need more self-created fun and adventure… something I can look back on one day and go, “You know, I was terrified, but holy moly, I freaking DID it!”
Can you imagine how great that would feel?
And then of course there’s the whole regret and life is short thing.
Listen, seriously… We just don’t know what tomorrow or next year or five years time will bring. And when you can’t stop thinking about something, even if it makes your heart beat faster, chances are, it’s something you need to do.
You wouldn’t be getting those kinds of pulls of the heart/soul if it wasn’t something you were supposed to do.
But Still, Really… Why Solo Next Year?
Well, really… why on Earth NOT?
It’s weird, I’ve actually been scribbling dreamy notes and doodles about some exotic holiday for the last two years. 2019 was always going to be the year of more travel.
When G and I went to the States in 2015, I was in my absolute element. Okay, not so much on the flight or with all the people in the airport… but everything else – walking the streets of New York and the beaches in California… my heart, my heart, my heart.
Trust me, we’ve had a LOT of talks about travelling again since then. Poor guy, I’m sure he’s sick to death of hearing about my travel daydreams and “Imagine ifs…”
But those are MY dreams.
And I’ve finally learned that I can’t force my dreams on anyone else.
You know what’s cool, though? Which makes all of this feel right (still scary, but not wrong)… He’ll be doing some travelling of his own with running groups, and breaking his own comfort zones.
So the timing is pretty perfect!
Here’s what I think is SO important, and something a lot of people misinterpret as something else:
When you’ve been together for so long, you NEED to experience things for yourself as well as together.
So that you REMEMBER who you are and keep growing into the person you want to be.
Hopefully in 2020 we’ll create some amazing memories and plan another awesome trip together. It will be our 13-year wedding anniversary, so that’s a damn good excuse, I’d say!
(And just FYI, in case anyone I know is reading this and wondering… everything is fine, I checked this all with G first obviously – I’m not that selfish – and he’s all for it…less nagging about another trip!)
So, for now, 2019 is about a few solo trips and soul food… all round.
It’s GOOD Aaaah, it’s exciting!!Create memories and adventures you'll be excited to share. Not wish you'd had the courage to do. #regretsucks Click To Tweet
Where Am I Going?
I have no clue…yet.
New York is a bit ambitious and WAY out of my price range, and I don’t think I’d want to do Thailand.
Here’s what I’d love… Culture, food, possibly learning a new language. THAT. Funny, my heart has been yearning to go back to Namibia (my home country) for a long time now. I think that might be an interesting trip to take and it’s not too far or pricey.
But I’m still researching and checking things out. This is going to take a LOT of planning… and NOT talking myself out of it, like I tend to do with most things these days.
I even bought a notebook today to start mapping things out.
ACTION. Yes, more of that… less daydreaming, please.
So, I’m curious… Have you ever travelled on your own before? WOULD you ever travel on your own, and if you could – where would you go?